One of our colleagues is the Chief Psychologist for the counseling group we belong to, and is a Senior Professor of Marriage and Family Counseling at St. Paul’s University in Ottawa. He’s an expert in how to stay connected in relationships. In a conversation this week, Martin commented that “married couples fall out of love after years of being together. It’s their job to do the work with connecting activities, touch, and intimacy, to fall back into love”.
Falling back into, and staying in love takes work. We think it takes play, “out of the ordinary experiences”, and good sex to encourage the endorphins you made when you first fell in love. See the blog at www.sexwithsue.com for more about the hot sex.
One of the best ways we’ve ever discovered to do this involves romance adventure activities. That’s the reason we write this blog. Romance adventure activities can be anything from a picnic in the woods by your house, to an early morning balloon ride or Disney Resorts. It can be boating in the Everglades, or playing flirty mini golf (putt putt). We make it a point to follow a few rules. Bi-weekly local date nights where we each take turns planning the evening. We’ve done naughty pirate cruises, the local reptile zoo (with backward, longing glances), or the local burlesque show. Our quarterly activities involves clothing optional beaches, and over 30 dance clubs. And we try and go away twice a year. Once within a 6 hour drive or short flight of home, and the other a romantic adventure somewhere on our bucket list.
It’s a priority for us. And we budget for it. In turn our relationship stays connected, and close. We try and post a few affordable and intimate suggestions that get your adrenaline up and has you clutching each other and gazing into each others eyes. As Martin the Professor says, “connection is eye contact, touch and words of love”. We’ll go one step further, we think it involves sexual intimacy and trying new things together.
Try the steps and see if it works for you. Invite your partner on a date. Make sure it involves touch, eye-contact, words of love, and something out of the ordinary. Play a board game, go to the local dinosaur museum, or better yet, go parking. We are quite sure that you’ll find it surprisingly effective in re-kindling some intimacy.