Couples

Have you ever had sex on a beach?

No, I’m not talking about the cocktail with orange juice and vodka. I’m talking about sand in your bathing suit and fish nibbling on your toes kind of sex. Think of the “From Here to Eternity” scene where the couple is making out, rolling around in the surf and dream about how hot and exciting that looked.

It turns out that many Canadian women have a fantasy about beach sex. In a new Ipsos Reid survey done for tripcentral.ca, 43% of women admitted that they had sex outside of their hotel room while on holidays. These women fantasized about sauna sex, hammock sex, public bathroom sex, and just about other private and romantic spot you can think of while on holiday. And who said that Canadian women are conservative!
I wasn’t surprised. When I speak to women about the best sex of their lives they invariably talk about parking, picnic blankets, or any place outside of the bedroom as their most memorable romps. Most people think that it is men that are looking for newness in the bedroom (and they would be right), but it turns out that it is women who overwhelmingly prefer the unique locations. Men tend to think about interesting positions and duration as their best sex. So holiday sex works for both parties.

I often ask my sex therapy patients how much sex they have on holidays. It’s a great barometer of the health of a couple’s sex life. If you have no outside stress, and your only decision of the day is a Mojito or Margarita, how easy is it to re-kindle some of that waning passion? Given that I think everyone needs sensual adventures, a great romantic holiday is one of the best things you can do for your relationship. It can certainly help your sex life. And in keeping with the survey results, if you can sneak out for some discreet shagging outside of the hotel room then the vacation ranks up there with the best sex of your life.


By Sue McGarvie, ago

Windjammer Cruises. It should be on your bucket list too.

One of the things that both Blaik and I had on our travel bucket list is a trip aboard one of the Windjammer sailing cruises. Not quite the tall ships of Master and Commander that Blaik would like to crew for a voyage, more like a relaxed, inclusive adventure for grown ups who like their creature comforts. The challenge has been in finding the right time and cruise to embark on.

Apparently this week the Windjammer people have announced two new cruises for the fall of 2011. They are both 9 day outings (a perfect length of time for landlubbers). You get the magic of the tall ships, the chance to really get to know your sailing companions, and the opportunity to really feel like you are sailing. These are more than just the typical Caribbean island hop.

The first called The Hidden Treasures of the Ionian, features sailings between Athens and Malta. The vacation includes a 7-day voyage, complimentary hotel accommodations for two nights in Athens at a Windstar designated hotel, complimentary transfer and invitation to Windstar’s Yacht Club Party. This is a chance to let your hair down and see the Mediterranean the way it was meant to be seen. It’s also a chance to highlight the rich history and culture of enchanting destinations, UNESCO World Heritage sites, ancient Greek civilizations, charming coastal villages and breathtaking islands.

The second is the” I dream of Turkey” (okay that’s just my name for it) cruise. It’s the Cyprus and Turkey cruise that lets you re-live the voyages of the swashbuckling sailors in the movies of our youth.

The press release reads:

“The intoxicating aromas of exotic spices and luxurious oils beckon from Istanbul’s Grand Bazaar. Lobster risotto and other decadent treats call from the restaurants of Mykonos. The ruins of Ephesus near Kusadasi invite you to wander along their well-worn paths. Celebrate another brilliant Santorini sunset with a glass of ouzo. See Ottoman mansions and wooden yatis the way they were meant to be seen – from a small boat sailing the Bosporus. Delight in the pleasure of discovering an energy and earthiness found nowhere else in the world.”

I don’t know about you, but it has moved way up on our bucket list. We’ll let you know how it goes after we give them a whirl at some point in the (hopefully) not-too-distant-future.

By Sue McGarvie, ago

Red light, green light (travel to Mexico)

With all the publicised violence in Mexico (mostly related to the war on drugs), we thought it would be appropriate to write about our experiences. We have visited Mexico more than a dozen times, have travelled by car through large areas and have yet to have anything resembling a bad experience. In fact, we have been greeted warmly by locals and have many wonderful stories of truly pleasant people. Some of the people we met are now counted among our friends.

Getting there from anywhere in North America is fast and easy. No visa is required and your passport is the only documentation you will need. Red light, green light refers to the way the customs process is handled. After having your passport stamped in immigration, you pick up your luggage and line up for customs. In Canada or the US, you generally play 50 questions with the customs officer and then are free to go. In Mexico, you walk up to the officer and push a big button. The light comes on green or red and it is totally random. Green means you pass without any questions and are free to enter the country. Red means your bags are thoroughly searched on the spot and in the open. No talking your way out of anything and the Mexican authorities have zero tolerance for drugs or weapons. While most of the time you get green, we have done the “red” routine on at least one or two occasions. Be prepared to have your tighty whiteys open to the world and if you happen to be transporting any bedroom toys, I hope you don’t blush easily.

From the airport onward it is smooth sailing. You can have a car pre-rented or pick one up there easily. Gas is cheap and the roads are good. You can also pre-book transportation to the hotel if it is not included in your package. Nightlife is plentiful and safe. Basic safety applies as it would in all countries including here in Canada. Common sense also applies. Keep away from illegal substances or activities and Mexico is a great place to travel through.

Some thoughts for the drivers though. You will see military checkpoints along highways. They too are inspecting for weapons or drugs. They are heavily armed and look intimidating but pose no problem at all to vacationers. Stop, smile and open the trunk. They may or may not want to quickly open any suitcases. You are on your way in seconds without problems. They don’t ask for ID. And stick to the speed limits. The Federal police have a knack for spotting tourists speeding and are more than pleased to pull you over and ask for a generous donation. Always a good idea to have some cash on you in case you need to cover a fine.

Given our affection for the country and people of Mexico, it is disheartening to hear the media play up the relatively few incidents (and very few which involve innocent tourists). Don’t be afraid to consider it for your next relaxing inexpensive vacation. If you are a first timer, stick to the tourist areas of the Yucatan or the west coast. We would be happy to be on a plane there tonight.



By Sue McGarvie, ago

Orlando for couples

Orlando may be one of the easiest destinations from central and eastern Canada to reach. Home of the famous Disney world resorts, theme parks in this central Florida destination are so overwhelming that they have their own listing on the local weather channel. We found direct flights from Ottawa, Toronto and Syracuse for less than $75 (plus the usual plethora of taxes) each way. A three and a half hour flight, thousands of hotel rooms available and when combined with a lower US dollar, an inexpensive Orlando escape may be just the thing to do this spring. It may actually be cheaper and easier to head south than stay in Canada if you are looking for a weekend get away.

There are loads of things to explore as a couple, even if you stay away from the craziness of the theme parks.

As marriage therapists, we are always going on and on about regular date nights and romantic interludes with your partner. It is about how adding fun adventure excursions (anything that gets your adrenaline up) is necessary to keep the love alive.

Orlando has a number of grown-up attractions that are more than PG-13. The Treasure Tavern, a bawdy variety dinner show is a great way to get in touch with your inner pirate. The saucy alter ego of the well known family pirate show, Treasure Tavern is the story about Greta Von Keegal (lamenting her dead husband, Long Dick), the tavern’s outlandish bar maven who runs a cabaret show with a cast of talented Cirque du Soliel type performers and comedians. Dinner is a three course prime rib affair. The servers are in wench costumes and participate throughout the show all the while flirting with you through your dinner. The whole evening is $49 a person, and is a great night out. Bring your camera for those naughty pirate facebook pictures.

Orlando isn’t famous for being a sports town but is home to the NBA team The Orlando Magic. The less than one year old Amway Center is impressive and easy to get to. Blues bands and buskers entertain outside for a festival feel, and the tickets are easy to get and inexpensive. We saw Michael Jordan (along with his Charlotte Bobcats) while we were there, handsome as ever. And between the dancers, entertaining mascot, and fast paced basketball it was a great way to experience the NBA in a five star sports facility.

For couples looking for more luxury, the Peabody hotel on International Drive has a $450 package that includes an overnight stay, bottle of champagne, dinner at the Italian steak house, breakfast, spa services, cocktails and a VIP turn down service. The spa at the Peabody emphasizes serenity and overlooks their meditation gardens and pools.

One of our favourite experiences in Orlando was the air boat rides on the big and small Lakes Toho. Just 20 minutes south of Disney, the airboats with their kevlar bottoms go over everything and fly through the shallow, marshy water. It was fast, thrilling and this experience of nature is unique to the Florida everglades. They give you headsets and explain details of the abundant wildlife. Spring is the best time to see the alligators and we must have come within 10 feet of fifteen medium to very large alligators. Baby gators, ospreys, eagles and fish were all plentiful in this pristine lake. Wild pigs and rabbits were visible on the shoreline. The rides with either the large Boggy Creek company or smaller outfitters run about $40 an adult.

Another great adult excursion in Orlando guaranteed to get your adrenaline up and bond you as a couple is a three lap drive in a two seater IndyCar at the Indy racing experience. Other suggestions include horseback riding or doing a zipline Safari through 4,700 acres of untamed wilderness in south central Florida. Of course you can always go manatee sighting on many of the inland water ways for something completely different.

By Sue McGarvie, ago

Have you ever had that urge to just hibernate? The best hotels in which to never get out of that white robe

Is your idea of a vacation where you get to sink down into one of those amazing hotel beds with your sweetie and not surface for 3 days? We painted that scenario to a group of friends and we all groaned with pleasure at the thought of three days of hibernating. If you believe the evolutionary biologists (and we do), we are meant to be in our caves sleeping away February. Or in our case, packing to head south somewhere. So many people have an amazing sleep in hotel rooms. The right temperature, absolute darkness and nobody disturbing you if you want to snuggle under that comforter. We brainstormed about the best hotels for staying in bed. The rule was, if you can’t do it in one of those bathrobes, then it didn’t count. So we explored our favourite best hotels to never get out of your bathrobe.

1. Anse Chastenet, St. Lucia. Those three sided rooms overlooking the Pitons that we raved about. You can stay in your room and still think you are outside. The individual plunge pools are luxurious. With an organic farm on site, the food was unbelievable. We loved the sleep as you felt you were sleeping outside.
2. Mkuze Falls, South Africa. Abject luxury. With an amazing view and wildlife roaming outside of your hut you wouldn’t even have to go on safari every day. The falls look like a scene from Jurassic Park. And our hut included the best King-like bed we’ve ever seen.
3. Queen Elizabeth Hotel, Montreal. The scene of the most famous love in history. The place where John and Yoko holed up in nothing but their bathrobes. They have been catering to room service lovers for decades.
4. Sleeping Beauty Hotel, London. We know couples who checked into this hotel and didn’t come up for air for 2 days. We don’t know how much sleeping they got (smile), but they claimed the beds were amazingly comfortable.
5. Westin Vancouver. With a great view and one of those new dream beds. we liked the our stay. We also stayed at a Westin (Cape Town) in South Africa that was equally as amazing. Here’s why in one of their laest media releases:

“Hotels are in the business of selling sleep, but more than half of our customers don’t sleep well and most of them go home tired—not a great report card for the hotel industry,” said Barry Sternlicht, Chairman and CEO of Starwood Hotels Resorts Worldwide, Inc., Westin’s parent. “But it’s really no surprise. After all, a good bed is one of the most important components to a good night’s sleep, and hotels have been neglecting their beds for years.”
Well, no longer. Today Westin announced that it is putting 52,000 new beds in its 39,500 guestrooms in 83 hotels in North America—a $30 million investment. Called The Heavenly Bed, Westin’s new bed is a departure from your typical hotel bed. Sumptuous, stylish and plush, the all-white Heavenly Bed consists of a custom designed Simmons Beautyrest® pillowtop mattress set; a cozy down blanket; three crisp sheets ranging in thread count from 180-250; a comforter; a duvet; and five of the best pillows in the business.
Westin knows about good sleep.

By Sue McGarvie, ago

El Dorado Royale. Something different in 5 star all inclusives

El Dorado Royale Review

By Sue McGarvie and Blaik Spratt, Clinical Relationship Therapists, Travel Journalists

On the surface the El Dorado Royale is just one of a number of five star all inclusives that frequent the coast from Cancun along the Mayan Riviera to Tulum on Mexico’s Yucatan peninsula. Albeit an enormous resort with over 630 rooms and 450 acres of land. The property includes horse and camel (yes camel) stables, its own desalination plant, and with ocean frontage so wide that you need a golf cart to get you to dinner. With over 1000 employees, the El Dorado Royale and the attached high-end El Dorado Casitas Royale is like a small city. Think of a land where everyone says “Hola” as you walk by. The resort emphasizes their specialized beach butler service, personal concierges, impeccable grounds, and wedding and spa services. You can find the same services at many other resorts but what stands out at the El Dorado Royale is the food.

The El Dorado is an adult only resort that emphasizes unbelievable, wildly varied, all-inclusive gourmet food. If you are a foodie who is tired of huge restaurant bills but don’t want to compromise on quality then the El Dorado is the holiday you need to explore. They have gourmet theatre where you can watch the chef prepare while you eat, or alternatively take day classes in gourmet cooking in the Mexican Fuentes restaurant. The food was fantastic. We are still talking about the duck/lamb combination dinner with the best chocolate lava cake (warm, melt-in-your-mouth, hmm) that has ever been devoured. It showed amazing restraint not to order a second dessert with its side of Baileys ice cream.

Over all the El Dorado is the “no surprises vacation”. You can bank on warm weather (when not during the rainy season), five star service and rooms with a Wow factor. Swim up plunge pool rooms, outdoor double (or quadruple) showers, indoor Jacuzzi’s, rose petals on the beds and overall abject luxury. You have the choice of 11 pools, 15 different bars (and over 50 different umbrella drinks), seven different restaurants, and three “gourmet corners” for emergency late night pizza and healthy choices. You could happily book your parents, honeymooners, even grandparents and know that there would be universality to the food, accommodations and service that you can bank on. Elegant, sophisticated, adult, and very high end are the words we would use to describe the El Dorado Royale.

But we wanted to look beyond the amazing food, weather, and property to find out what was truly special about the El Dorado. And we found it in the most unexpected place.

Mexico has been late in embracing environmental and “green” concerns. However in keeping with a new recyclable and organic emphasis at the El Dorado, the Mayan owner has embarked on an ambitious new greenhouse program. With acres of greenhouses using the latest technology, this new program is defining freshness for hotel foods, and offering up a model of organic farming. Yup, the El Dorado luxury winter palace for discriminating tourists is getting into farming vegetables in a big way. They currently produce over 1.5 tons of fresh vegetables a day. They supply all of their El Dorado and Azul chain of hotels, sell vegetables and herbs at a reduced cost to employees and are now able to sell more to other neighbouring hotels. Besides the awe inspiring volume of food produced in the automated greenhouses, what is cool is that the growing materials are crushed up coconut shells and beach sand. The agronomist on staff is using abundant and readily available natural products as a growth medium for the plants. They use natural tree saps as insecticide and their own bee colonies for pollination. Coupled with perfect temperatures, and loads of light it represents ideal growing conditions.

The staff has really bought into the concept of fresh, organic food as a way to differentiate the resort from a crowded marketplace. Our tour was conducted by an enthusiastic tennis pro turned junior agronomist and everyone from the bellmen to the wait staff knew how special the greenhouse program is to the resort. With plans to expand to fruit, berry and additional herbs, the greenhouse is one of the ways that the El Dorado chooses to be serious about food. The chef picks his produce every day for dinner, and works with the greenhouse staff to try different varieties for subtle flavours. The resort offers daily tours of the greenhouse for interested guests, and can include samples of home grown vegetables as take aways to add to the fresh fruit bowl found in all the rooms.

It is an organic success story at a resort that has embraced healthy living among all the decadence. And the care put into the all inclusive food that the El Dorado Royale serves is definitely a difference maker when selecting a holiday resort.

By Sue McGarvie, ago